Walking with God down difficult roads.

What do we do when we see pain and suffering in this world, and yet we are helpless to do anything to help it? It is especially difficult when it hits close to home and it is a friend or family member going through it. This has been a struggle for me recently as we’ve had to watch our niece Andie walk toward the difficult task of a bone marrow transplant. 

On one side, this is an incredible miracle and opportunity for her as this transplant should transform her life because it will get rid of the Diamond Blackfan Anemia (DBA), which has caused her to be dependent on blood transfusions every 3-4 weeks her entire life. The miracles of modern medicine are an absolute gift from God and are something to be celebrated, and we will rejoice when she gets to the other side of this. 

On the other hand, she has to go through very intense chemotherapy prior to the transplant to essentially nuke her body and immune system so that the transplant can be successful and her body will take on the new bone marrow (definitely don’t know the nuts and bolts of it, but this is my very simplified understanding of it). Then there’s always the underlying fear of her body rejecting the new bone marrow or other complications.

All of this has been so complicated to process and it has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, especially now as she is in the midst of chemo and today is when it’s supposed to really get hard. My heart breaks for my niece as she has to go through the pain - physical, emotional, spiritual - of all of this, and for her mom, Jenn, as she walks through this with her, by her side, and for her Dad, Shawn, and sister, Hannah, who are home in Dorchester trying to live life as normal when it really is anything but normal for them right now, but Hannah needs to finish her final year of elementary school and Shawn his first year as principal of an elementary school. If I’m struggling with it all and having a hard time, how must they all be doing? How can I even understand when I’m just the uncle seeing them going through this, not the parent or sibling? All the words I have to say to them seem to fall short and seem so insufficient for what my heart is feeling and saying and what they’re enduring.

In the end, all I can do is share my love with them, even if it’s only from a distance, and continue to cast my burdens upon the Lord; lifting them up in prayer and petition to our good Father who loves them more than I could ever comprehend. I could get angry that Andie (and by extension her family) has had to endure so much throughout the entirety of her young life, and I could direct that anger towards God for putting Andie through this, but I know that that isn’t the case. Could God have cured Andie with the snap of His fingers? Yes, He could, but He didn’t. That is the double edged sword of living in a broken world under the sovereignty of a God who has chosen to give us free will rather than us being robots. Free will comes with benefits, but it also comes with brokenness and illness and troubles and pain. Our free will has allowed us to choose God, but it also has allowed us to choose another way, and any way other than God’s way leads to brokenness and pain. In the beginning, we as humans decided we knew a better way and chose to rebel against our creator, bringing sin and pain into His good creation.

I will be clear, I am not talking about any individual’s choice to not follow God’s way, but in general, as humanity, us not following God’s way; in no way shape or form do I believe that anything Jenn or Shawn have done or didn’t do, etc caused Andie to be born with this anemia. She was born with it mainly because we live in a broken world where people have sickness and disease and pain, some of which we can trace the cause of, and some of which is completely inexplicable and unjustified, but I digress.

So what are we to do? Well, Paul and James would tell us to rejoice in all circumstances and trials, as hard as that is to do, and sometimes can seem impossible. Of course, rejoicing doesn’t always look like shouting praises from the rooftops, sometimes rejoicing can be in the midst of tears and crying out, simply saying “God, I trust you” even if it’s just in our hearts. It’s being grateful for the blessings we do have, even when it feels as though they are being drowned out by our pain and sorrows. So, as I weep tears that I don’t always know where they are coming from or why they are suddenly appearing, I choose to thank God for His goodness and mercy, even in the midst of difficulties. I thank Him that we live in a country where my niece can get the life saving treatment she’s gotten over the years with very little financial burden on her family in comparison to many other places in the world. I thank God that He has brought modern science and medicine to a place where we have treatment options available. I thank God that Andie was born in a country where she had access to treatment and wasn’t born in a developing country where she surely would have died. I thank God for how He has made my sister such an amazingly strong woman and mother who has fought for her daughter for the last almost 16 years, including starting a charity to help fund research and bring awareness to DBA so families in Canada wouldn’t have to face DBA alone like they did. I thank God for the young woman that He has been making Andie into (and her sister Hannah as well) in the midst of her difficulties and pain. I also thank God that in Him nothing is ever lost or meaningless because He will use all things for the good (Romans 8:28), and I believe that He will use everything Andie has gone through to bring blessing to the world in ways I can’t even fathom at this point. 

I could go on; there are so many things to be thankful for and to rejoice, so I will rejoice in them, even as I weep. We serve a God who is ok with our struggles; I would argue that He even is glad that we struggle when things are not as they should be, because it means that we know that He wants better for His entire creation and that it is an injustice that brokenness and pain exist. I am so thankful for the Psalms that show us that it is alright to live in the struggle and to bring that pain and suffering to God. The lament Psalms are powerful examples of what it means to live in real relationship with God, being honest about the pain that comes in many different forms throughout life. The amazing thing about the lament Psalms is that they all are so honest about pain and anger and suffering, yet they all end in praise (outside of Psalm 88, which is followed by an incredible Psalm of praise in Psalm 89). They remind us that even though the night may be dark, there is always the morning; there is always hope, as long as we continue to look to Him and allow Him to lead us through the situation. Even in death, we know that He has victory and that we will be restored and resurrected at the end of all things, with no pain, sickness, suffering, or brokenness. He is always victorious and in Him we always have victory, even when we can’t see it. 

So, God I praise you for who you are and what you’ve done. You are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. You are always working, bringing restoration to your creation. You have brought so much restoration in my life, and I know you will continue. I put my whole trust in you and I give Andie, Jenn, Shawn, and Hannah to you, knowing that no matter what comes, that you are still faithful to them and that you weep with us as we walk down this road. Thank you for being our Good Father and never changing. Let your kingdom come and may you be glorified in the midst of this difficult season. Bless your holy name.

Why am I a Christian?

 "Why am I a Christian?" is a question that anyone who goes to church on Sundays or identifies as a Christian should ask themselves. It is the most basic and most complex question all at the same time. I may ruffle a few feathers by saying this (or may downright piss some people off), but if your answer is "so that I can go to heaven", then I would argue that you are actually missing out on what it really means to be a Christian and are likely missing out on experiencing the blessing that the abundant life that God offers brings. The main problem about that answer is that it makes it all about yourself; it is a self serving gospel - you are a Christian because of what you get, not because of who God is or what He's done. It actually misunderstands what salvation really is all about and what Jesus was actually teaching us and what God was doing from the very beginning of the biblical story, culminating in Jesus' death and resurrection, and continuing today. Fleshing out this idea fully would take a series of blog posts and more work than I am able to put in right now, so I will leave that there since that is not what inspired me to write this post today (after not writing for a long time).

So why am I a Christian? Originally it was probably because my parents were; I grew up in the church, so it was quite natural for me to become a Christian, however, if I stayed there I would have probably had an answer like I wrote above as to why I am a Christian, which, ultimately, breaks down quite easily when challenged once you step out of your Christian circles. My Christian walk was quite interesting in some ways because from a young age I always knew that God was real and that He was the one true god - I experienced Him in some incredible ways when I was in my preteen years that never left any doubt in my mind - however I did not live as a Christian for many years of my teen and young adult life. At that point in my life, I was a Christian in name and basic belief only; it wasn't really apparent in my life and I did not cultivate a relationship with God in any real way. That all changed, however, when I finally realized that the way I was living was not sustainable, and not really even that enjoyable when I actually stopped (and was clear-minded enough) to think about it. That was when I started to realize that being a Christian was about more than going to church and not doing anything too bad so that you don't mess up your ticket into heaven. That's when God slowly began to draw me to Himself in a way I had never experienced before.

In my mind, and my heart, I didn't really become a Christian until I laid down my will and finally submitted myself to His will and allowed Him to be the Lord of my life. That doesn't necessarily mean I wasn't "saved" in an eternal sense before then; how do we know what exactly it takes to receive His salvation - is it simply "inviting Him into our heart" or is it more? I had prayed a prayer multiple times and I fully believed He was God, so you could say that yes I was saved, but as I look back I now realize that it was basically the minimum level of salvation and that I was missing out on what salvation really is about. It was only once I realized that God doesn't want to be invited into our hearts or into our lives, but that He wants to be the Lord of our lives and wants to live in covenant relationship with us, that my life was truly transformed and I finally began to live the abundant life that Jesus promised for the very first time. I can't remember when I first "invited Jesus into my heart", but I will always remember when I surrendered and made Him Lord of my life (which continues to deepen to this day and will until the day I die), because that is when my life changed forever and I can easily say that my life has gotten better consistently since then as I have allowed Him to lead me into His blessing instead of trying to bring Him along or into what I was doing.

So why am I a Christian? First, because God has absolutely transformed my life. He never gave up on me, even though others may have, and He kept pursuing me until I finally gave in and put Him first, and I have been living in His blessing ever since. To look at where I am today and consider where I was 15 years ago is astonishing, so much so that I doubt the people I knew back then that I haven't seen for years would recognize me today. Secondly, I am a Christian because as I've studied and learned about the different religions and belief systems that the world has to offer, Christianity and the Christian story makes the most sense of the world and brings the most value to this life and to all of creation than any other. Even when you only look at Abrahamic religions, which have similar basic foundations of who God is (based on the Hebrew Scriptures), Christianity stands apart because in the others (Judaism and Islam), it is mostly based on what we do, whereas in Christianity, God came down to earth as a man to do what we could never do ourselves. He has saved us not because of who we are, but because of who He is! Finally, I am a Christian because of who God is and the relationship that I have with Him. He is a good father who leads me and my family through life in a crazy world and blesses us in ways I never thought He would. He is the creator, the Redeemer, the great I Am, the Alpha and Omega, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The more I get to know Him, the more in awe I am of who He is, what He has done and what He is doing.

There is no other way that I would ever even consider living my life other than submitting myself to Him as Lord, following Him wherever He leads, and obeying His words and decrees. It is the best way to live life that there is, and I know that from experience because I tried many other ways of living, His is by far the greatest!

I don't really know why I felt compelled to write this post after not writing anything for so long, and I have no idea who will read this, but it just came to mind and I felt I needed to write it and share it. I will say that it is not the most nuanced or thought out thing I have written; it really was written in one draft from my heart with very little editing, so it may not be perfect and I am willing to take some push-back on what I've written - I am always willing to discuss matters of faith with whoever is willing to have a thought out and respectful dialogue. I hope that it helps or blesses even just one person; I know that thinking through it a little and writing it already was a blessing to me.

A prayer for the brave, but should it be?

For the last month I have been saying the same prayer almost every day. It is a prayer that I heard when I was meeting with our house church via Zoom from a person that I don't really know, but is connected with the rest of our house church. When I heard it, my heart leapt because it was a prayer that really struck at the heart of what I desire in my walk with God. This is the text of the prayer with it's intro and epilogue:

"Here is a prophetic prayer for the brave. I will meditate on this before praying it.

 

If you would like, as a believer in Jesus Christ, to know the Holy Fear of the Lord, I recommend you pray as follows:

'Lord Jesus, I ask you to shine your light into every dark and hidden corner of my soul, deep into every locked door of my unwillingness, every false cover of my un-surrendered motives, and Lord, as you do this the time will come when I ask you to stop, and when that time comes I ask that you honor this prayer, not the prayer of my distress at that time.'

Before you pray like that, please be aware that this is not some religious formula. You will need to be determined to accept what follows. It will be a challenging experience."

There are so many things that I love in this prayer. It is a prayer that asks God to bring His refining light into your life and to not stop until He is finished, no matter what the cost. However, there are a couple of things I have taken issue with in it.

First, after a week of praying it, I made a change to it. I didn't like that it essentially prescribes that I will be resistant to the change God was bringing and I would ask Him to stop. So I altered it from saying "the time will come... and when that time comes..." to "the time may come... and if that time comes..." 

It is a small change, but it is a significant change. I don't want to assume that I am going to resist God's refining light in my life. I may end up doing that, and if I do, then I want God to honour my first prayer rather than the prayer of my distress, but I did not want to go into it assuming that I would resist and not embrace His pruning and shaping. I very much believe in the power of words, and I did not want to speak those words over my life (even though I can understand the original author's intent and heart in them).

The thing is, even though God's refining of us often is a painful experience as we die to self in various ways and degrees over time, and it has been painful at times in my life, I don't believe it has to be that way. I can say with honesty and confidence that I have experienced it to be a joyful thing as well. 

I believe that the pain that comes from His refining fire comes not from the process of Him working in our lives - He brings life, not pain - but that it comes resistance to His refining due to our misunderstanding of who He is, of what sinful practices really do to us, of how good His love and comfort is, and how it is much better than the false comforts that we tend to take respite in. When God wants to prune something from our lives, then pain doesn't really come from His pruning, it comes from us holding on to those things too tightly. 

I am not saying that it is easy to have this kind of disposition towards God's pruning - it definitely does not come naturally - but I have seen in my life that the more He prunes, and the more I allow Him to do so - or even seek for Him to do so - the easier it gets, and the more desirable His pruning becomes. It hasn't come easy for me - I was very stubborn and walked contrary to Him for many years before I allowed Him to really be my God above all - but I want to encourage those who struggle with it that it gets better and that His pruning and His ways are far greater than anything the world has to offer; believe me, I tried a lot of it and it all fell short.

Second, there is still something that doesn't sit right with me with the description of this prayer, the fact that it is called a prayer for the brave. Although it may take bravery to go before God and ask Him to bring His light into all of your darkness in you, by saying that it is a prayer for the brave, it implies that this type of prayer is optional and is only for those who are brave enough. I don't believe that this prayer is only for the brave, but that this prayer is actually the type of prayer should be at the core of what it means to be Christians and followers of God, and that our Christian walk should not, perhaps even cannot, be devoid of a prayer like this. 

When I read the Bible I do not see anything that tells me that a disposition towards God like this is optional for those who truly want to be called by His name (Christians means little Christs, so we truly are called by His name). As I read Paul and his talk of dying with Christ, or his call to live lives worthy of our calling, or his challenge to be imitators of Christ, it does not seem like this is something only for a select few or for the brave. This is what it means to really be a Christian. In the book The Kingdom Life, Keith Meyer speaks about Paul's call to be imitators of Christ:

"When you ask most believers if they can say this along with Paul, they balk and say they would have to be perfect. Somewhere along the way we have lost the view of salvation as a life we could actually imitate and live. Paul's letters challenge us to be living examples of Christ's life. He not only thought it possible, he saw it as the only way for salvation to be passed on." (The Kingdom Life, ed. Alan Andrews, pg. 177)

Biblically, the Christian life isn't about going to heaven when we die, and doesn't consider salvation as the end, but as the beginning. We step from death into life when we give our lives to God and start a process of sanctification that enables us to experience His abundant life and salvation in this life. Too often the gospel that is preached is a self serving gospel of not going to hell rather than a gospel of being a disciple of Christ. Discipleship takes effort and requires a heart that says "not my will, but yours be done." 

To be clear, I am not saying that we are saved by our works - we are saved by grace through faith - but, as James said, real faith includes works. Dallas Willard puts it quite well, "God is not opposed to effort, but to earning" (Dallas Willard's Study Guide to the Divine Conspiracy, pg. 107). Being a Christian is not a passive thing where we say a prayer and hope we say sorry enough and are nice enough that we get to go to heaven. It is about being God's ambassadors in this world, which requires His pruning and His grace to empower us, bringing restoration and life to all of His creation. 

This is not a prayer for the brave, it is a prayer for all believers who truly want to see His kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven, because it is possible, but only as believers wake up to the calling they have been called to and accepted when they gave their lives in service to God. There is no other way.

Allowing Him to be the Author

It's been a long time since my last post.

When I wrote my last post I was excited and was eager to write a series of posts about the revelation that God's been giving me, but then a funny thing happened.....life happened.

It's amazing how easy it is to allow life to stop us in our tracks. The funny thing is that it wasn't that I was sitting around doing nothing or that I was running around too busy to do anything, I just got distracted from what I had hoped to do.

For the most part it was good things that distracted me, Grace and I were moving back to NZ and starting out on our own for the first time as a married couple, and we obviously had a lot to learn about how to do that. Plus I took on a new role at our base in Oxford (which I've stepped down from after 3 difficult months because I finally accepted the fact that it wasn't what God wanted me to do and instead was what I thought I should be doing - BIG difference), and I had a lot to learn about what it means to be Matt and Grace in Oxford instead of just Matt (very different).

Distractions. They can come in many different forms and can so easily and often seem like something God is giving to you, but the thing is, even if something is a ministry thing or a real life thing that needs to be done, if it's not done in God's timing and God's way, then it very easily becomes a distraction. Even things that God has given you to do can become distractions if they're not done His way.

The things that have been distracting me and taking my time and thoughts and energy were, for the most part, all things that God had brought me - He brought me a wife and sent us back into YWAM - I just didn't always connect with Him and get my orders and priorities from Him and instead went with my own "wisdom" instead.

To be quite honest, I don't know what this blog is completely about, I just knew that I needed to write something, so I just started writing and allowed God to give me what to write.

I guess that could possibly be the point, allowing God to write our minutes and hours and days, etc, and trusting that He will walk us through them instead of sitting and figuring it out on our own in our own so called wisdom.

One thing that this last few months has taught/reminded me is that He needs to be the author of my day first and foremost. I have so many things that I can keep myself busy with, but if I am allowing Him to be the author of my day then I won't get bogged down by them or swallowed up by them, instead I will be subjecting them to His authority and allowing Him to dictate their importance.

I am so thankful that God has used this last season to remind me of the importance of connection with Him and of doing only what He wants me to do. It has been an amazing reminder and I am so thankful that He was so gentle in how He reminded me.

Always remember, He cares about EVERY aspect of your life and your day and He is more than happy to help you order your life. Spend time with Him and allow Him to author your day instead of just inviting Him into it occasionally (which is so easy to do). I'm sure this is something that He'll be reminding me of many many times throughout this next season and for the rest of my life, but I love His reminders and He has amazing incomprehensible grace for me.

He is so so good.

How Good is the Good News? Pt 1

How good is the Good News?

That's what the word Gospel literally means, Good News. It comes from the Greek word evangelion and it's meaning is "a reward for good tidings". It's an interesting translation, especially when you consider how we always use it today. Just the word Gospel indicates a reward, and a good one at that, but how good is it?

What is our reward?

What are we being rewarded for?

These are all questions that when I quickly think about it, I think we all should be able to answer them very quickly and easily, but when I think a little deeper and dig a little deeper, I wonder, can we really?

How many of us really know the reward we have in Christ?

How many of us actually have looked to see what exactly the Bible tells us that reward is?

How many of us have just accepted what we've been told the Good News is, and have been content with that?

Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to sound like I'm bashing people who haven't studied the Bible for themselves, not a lot of people get the gift of being able to set aside a large amount of time to study the Word in depth, I just think that this is something that we don't ever look closely enough at and just sit back and accept what we're told about it. I know I did for many years. But an amazing thing happened when I started to look a little closer. I realized that I didn't have it all figured out (who woulda thought eh? lol), and I realized that I may have missed a huge part of what the Gospel really is.

So what is the Gospel? Most would probably say that it is the Truth that Jesus came down from heaven and became a man and died for our sins so that we could go to heaven when we die. That's probably what I would have said in the past, it's a pretty basic belief that most Christians have. The problem is, that's not the full Gospel. That's just what we've been using to tell people why they should believe in Jesus, so that they can go to heaven instead of hell. Essentially, fire insurance for when we die. But that's not the real point. If that's the whole point and we're saved by grace through believing that Jesus died for our sins, then what is the point of our entire lives?

If it's all about getting out of here and getting to heaven, then why do we have to spend so many years here?

We know that we don't earn our salvation, so if our salvation is just about going and being in heaven, then why can't we just drop dead once we start to believe? It'd be a lot easier and a lot less painful.

Some may say our purpose is so that we can convince others to believe too so that they can escape with us, but is that all there is? Can't God just save them all without us? There's gotta be more to life than just that or else we're just God's mere workers getting him more workers so that He can fill up His house, and that doesn't sound like abundant life to me.

I don't want this post to go too long, since I actually want people to want to read this, so I'll just end here and leave you with this "primer" I guess we could call it.

I must say, I don't want anybody to think that I have it all figured out, because even I don't think that, and I don't want you to think that I'm trying to take anything away from the Gospel, because that's the opposite of what I'm doing. I just want to spend some time looking at what the Gospel is, according to the Bible, not according to what I've been told growing up. It's something that I've been wrestling with for the last couple years, and I'm hoping that by reading my posts you'll spend some time wrestling with it too. Sometimes we need to step back, forget what we think we know, and look at the Word with fresh eyes, the eyes of a child, so that we can really see what it says rather than only seeing what we think it says.

So please, bear with me. I don't know how many posts this will comprise of, or how long it will take, but I hope and pray that you will journey with me and I hope that it will challenge you and encourage you and excite you, because I know that that is what's been happening to me as I've journeyed through this so far.

Blessings

Welcome to Kingdom Thinking

Write a blog post....

I don't want to

Write a blog post....

I don't know what to write

Write a blog post....

What if nobody likes it

Write a blog post....

FINE.

This is a glimpse of what has been going on in my head for the last little while. I've been thinking of writing blog posts and have even felt God give me some good things to write, but haven't actually stepped out and written one. I guess it feels like one thing to write about what's happening in my life and a completely different thing to write about what's going on in my head and/or in my heart. Part of me is excited to share some of my thoughts and revelations, but the other part of me is dreading it and wishing I didn't say that I was going to repurpose this blog and had just let it die. But I guess that's one of the reasons why I made that last post, so that it would force me to finally start sharing some of my thoughts rather than just updating people on what's going on in my life.

The idea of starting a blog to share about what God had been speaking to me came to me even before I decided to leave Canada and join YWAM. I still remember sitting in my car driving home from my job in Woodstock, having a great time just hanging out with God and reflecting on things with him, when I got the idea of creating a blog to share some of these reflections with others. At first I thought it was an awesome idea; what a great way to share with people some of the things God is teaching me, who knows, it may end up helping or encouraging some people, but after I thought about it for a while I let my cynical side kick in and started thinking, who's gonna care what you think? what kind of great things are you really going to be able to share with people? and things like that. So I quickly threw away that idea and decided that because I don't think I'm a very good writer and I tend to struggle getting my thoughts down on paper (or computer in this case), that it would be a stupid idea to try and share them with others. What do I know anyways?

Now, I've realized that as a son of God and someone who He's decided to use as a teacher of His Word, He has given me some good things to share with others. Anytime we spend time walking with Him, He brings revelation to us, and although sometimes that revelation is only meaningful for us, other times that revelation could be exactly what someone needed to hear. So I've decided that I'm done listening to the lies that the devil has been whispering into my ear and instead I'll listen to the Truth that Father has been speaking clearly to me for some time, but that I've just been too afraid and self conscious to listen to.

So I've decided to fully embrace this idea of blogging and if I lose all my followers and nobody wants to read what I have to say and think, then that's fine, I'm not gonna do this for all of you, I'm gonna do this for me and for my Father who wants to hear what I have to say and wants me to share it with whoever wants to read it. That is why I've decided to rebrand my blog under a different name and new look and to use it to share what I believe is on Father's heart. I'm not sure how often I will post, but I'm gonna try and do it regularly, and I plan on posting my first real post in the next week or so.

Thanks for following my blog, and I hope you enjoy the shift of focus. If you don't, you can always go to my and Grace's blog at wokandpan.wordpress.com.

Blessings

Changes

Well in case you don't know, I've moved into a very new chapter in my life of being a married man, and as we all know, when you get married, things change. Like a lot. Big time. lol. Thankfully, they are good changes and although some of them can be tough, they've been amazing and a blessing and I am so thankful to God for bringing those changes into my life.

One of these changes is that I am now changing how I blog from now on. Grace and I have created a new blog at wokandpan.wordpress.com (notice the east meets west kinda vibe there....we're clever), which is where we'll be posting short updates on what we're doing and how we're doing and such. Rather than be redundant and post updates on both this blog and our new one, I've decided that I would repurpose this blog to focus more on things that I'm learning or things that God's been showing me or just random things that I think about when I'm lying in bed and can't sleep and am trying not to wake up my wife. lol

So ya, go on over to our new website (again it's wokandpan.wordpress.com) and sign up to follow our blog via email, but still keep an eye on this blog if you want to get a glimpse of what's going on inside of my head.....if you dare....haha.

Hope you're all doing well. Grace and I are doing great. Just got back to Malaysia 2 weeks ago, and if ya want to hear more, then head over to our new blog.

Bless you!

A brief update from my hotel room in Thailand

Kata Noi - One of the beaches near where we are staying.

Well it has been quite some time since I have posted anything on here, and quite a lot has happened since then.

For those of you who haven't heard from or about me for a while, I am sorry (yet again). It has been a very eventful start to the year to say the least. I have gone from my home in Oxford, NZ to spend time in Queenstown, NZ, then to finally meet back up with Grace in Melbourne, Australia for a few weeks before we travelled to Malaysia and then Singapore while doing everything we could to try and get Grace's Canadian visa settled before we flew out. Unfortunately we weren't able to so I had to fly to Canada without her (but with her father), but thankfully God came through in the nick of time (as we knew He would) and got her over to Canada with a week to spare before our wedding. We then spent 2 months in Ontario visiting family and friends before flying back to Malaysia for a few days and then on to Thailand for 3 weeks.

And that is where you catch up with me now as I sit in my hotel room in Phuket, Thailand looking out at the Andaman Sea. It has been quite a journey for Grace and I these last 5-6 months (not to mention the previous 11 months, of which we were separated for 9), but it has been an amazing time of discovering each other and what it means to be together as well as discovering more about God and His faithfulness to us and of His plan for us.

We originally came to Thailand a little over 2 weeks ago and spent 9 days in Chiang Mai in the northern part of the country to attend the call2all congress and the YWAM Asia Pacific gathering. This time was an amazing gift from God and He really refined more of our vision for the future as well as giving us things to think about for the present and for when we return to Oxford in September. I feel very privileged to have been able to attend these gatherings and to be able to hear about what God is doing in Asia and beyond to reach the unreached as well as to use those who know Him. I've come away from this week just amazed at how good God is and amazed at how He wants to use me and Grace (and everybody really) to make His name known to all nations and to show people how loving and caring and awesome their true Father is. God is so good and as I think over these last couple weeks here and over the last year or two or three even, my heart just continues to overflow with love and joy and appreciation for the amazing Father that I have in Him.

So now we are down in Phuket relaxing and having a great time being on our own (we had been staying with my parents for the 2 months in Canada and will stay with Grace's parents for the next 3 months) and enjoying God's beautiful creation; continually being amazed with how good He is to us to give us this time to relax and recharge before another busy time planning for another wedding celebration as well as planning for a teaching that I will be doing in August, which will be the first time I've been invited to speak at a base other than my own.

We have been very blessed in these last few months and we know that God will continue to bless us and grow us as we prepare to start our new life in New Zealand. I will try to be more diligent in my communication in the future (with the help of my darling wife, who is WAY more organized and better at these things with me), and we will be sending out our first combined newsletter as the new Mr and Mrs Matt and Grace Stelpstra soon.

Blessings to all of you.

Merry Christmas and I'm sorry

It's like I'm a little kid again. I'm sitting here, wide awake at 5:30 am on Christmas morning, unable to sleep. Unfortunately, it isn't a feeling of anticipation or excitement that is keeping me awake, this time it's very different feelings that keep me awake and alert.

I need to apologize to my friends and family who read this blog, and those who don't as well. Outside of my immediate family, and inside somewhat too, I have done a piss poor job of keeping in contact these last few months. Really, I haven't done a great job keeping people updated and staying connected to everybody back home in general since I left, but prior to these last few months there was more of a reason for it because I was incredibly busy. Unfortunately, these last few months, I don't have any reason for it other than I haven't had the motivation to do it and haven't really felt like I've had anything to say, which is kinda stupid because I've had multiple blog post ideas come into my mind, but I just haven't been able to pull the trigger.

These past few months have been some of the most difficult months for me since I left Canada in September, 2010 to leave it all behind and journey with God to the ends of the earth. See, during my first two years away I was busy; super busy. I was doing things. Learning more about God, going to help the unloved and underprivileged, studying His Word, teaching His Word. I was busier than I ever have been in my life, and I absolutely loved it and didn't feel tired or worn out at all, no matter how many late nights and early mornings I put in. These last few months have been very different, and I never would have imagined that they would be as difficult as they have been.

These last few months, all of that busyness was taken away. My school was over, and other than teaching on the Discipleship Training School at the beginning of this new "season", I didn't have any real commitments or responsibilities for my time. I had no idea what God wanted me to do with these 3-4 months that I had ahead of me, other than the two simple, yet difficult words He gave me of "Be still." Although this may sound like an easy and carefree season that someone coming off of an intense and busy last year and a half of bible study and teaching should love, it has been anything other than that for me.

Learning to be still and to still feel useful and valuable even though I wasn't doing a whole lot has been difficult and foreign and even, dare I say it, depressing. I have been spending my days in prayer, seeking God and reading His Word, while struggling to feel motivated and focused. I have had some amazing prayer times and have been given some awesome dreams and vision for future possibilities, but I've also had some times of feeling like I just want to hide in my office not doing much of anything. I am a hardworking man who loves to be busy, but here I have been for the last 3 months, sitting, doing what feels like nothing, while my fiancé is working her butt off all day every day helping feed over 300 people 5000 miles away at YWAM Perth. It has been a real attack on my identity and value, but deep down, I know that it's good and that He knows why it's happening.

So I'm sorry I haven't written, whether it be via email or Skype or Facebook or this blog. I knew I should have. I even wanted to sometimes. But I just haven't. It hasn't been that I've been too busy "doing God's work" or anything like that. I just haven't felt up to it. I haven't felt like I've had anything to say. I may have feared that people would be disappointed because I wasn't doing very much in the physical sense of things.

I believe that I've been struggling with depression these last few months. Not being busy, being away from my beautiful fiancé and having to deal with the difficulties that come from a long distance relationship, being away from my family and friends back home, and wanting to do things to help others or to just do something but feeling the conviction in my spirit that by doing those things I was actually being disobedient to my Father, has all come together to make me feel beaten down emotionally.

There is hope though and there is life because as difficult as this time has been, I know that it's for a reason. I know that He is moving and stirring. I know that this is one of the most important seasons of my life and that He is using this time to move in me to prepare me for the future. As much as I hate this, I know I need this. As much as I wish I could be studying the Bible every waking hour with deadlines looming over my head, I know that He wants me to have my identity rooted in Him and in being His son, not in what I'm doing for Him. Even in this hour that I've been writing this, I've felt Him moving and teaching me and reminding me that He's the one who has chosen for me to go through this and that it's for my good because He is my good Father and everything He does is for our good and is the best thing for me.

So, although nothing's really changed; it still doesn't feel like Christmas, I'm still apart from my family and friends and, most importantly, my fiancé, I still have the same money problems I had before, and I still don't know if I'm actually going to be able to really do anything before I leave New Zealand to be with Grace on January 22; it's starting to feel a little different. I'm starting to remember the Hope that I have, not just in the future, but even in the here and now and in the being still. It's amazing what happens when you invite the Father into how you're feeling. Maybe it is going to be a great Christmas after all!

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and happy new year. Sorry this wasn't your usual happy holiday cheer post, but I needed to share with you all what was really going on, and sometimes that isn't always cheerful and happy. Thank you for reading and sharing with me what's happening, especially if you actually read the whole thing (I didn't plan for it to be this long. lol). And most of all, thank you for being my family and my friend, and I hope you too feel the warmth of the Father's embrace, no matter what your circumstance is this Christmas. He is so good, all the time!

God bless

Time for a bit of a break!

Wharariki Beach on our BCC weekend away.

Well it has been a crazy couple of months since I last posted on here. The school is now finished and I have finished all of my marking and gotten everything wrapped up, so this week has been a bit of a recovery week for me before heading off to Perth on Monday to visit Grace for a couple weeks.

For those of you who don't know what I'm doing, here's a quick update. I'm now living in Oxford, New Zealand, which is a small town of about 1500-2000 people in the south island of NZ about 45 minutes from Christchurch. I moved here to take over the Bible Core Course, which is a 12 week inductive bible study course where we studied 16 books of the bible from June 25-Sept 13.

The school was an amazing success and God really helped both me and my students through it. I really saw God's providence and His guidance throughout the school. It definitely was one of the busiest times of my life, but it was absolutely amazing and God was with me every step of the way reassuring me, pushing me, comforting me, teaching me, guiding me and really giving me His peace and reminding me that He was in control and that He was the one who really was leading the school, so all I had to do was accept His leadership and allow Him to move through me.

I ended up teaching a lot more than I had originally planned because of not being able to find teachers for all of the books, which made it even busier than it would have been, but God was so good in helping me formulate my teachings and also helping me to stay energized and healthy and able to do what He was telling me to do. I ended up teaching the Gospel of Mark, Proverbs, Small Group Bible Study, Ezra and Revelation, as well as teaching for a couple days on the Snowboarders DTS when they had a teacher have to cancel one week. For someone who had only ever taught twice in my life for only one day each, this was quite the amazing task, especially since all of my teachings had to be made from scratch, but the more that God told me to do, the more I saw His favour and His blessing on my preparation and my teaching. Revelation was an especially hard book since it's a pretty crazy book anyways and because I was teaching it only 1 week after I taught Ezra. I thought I had a teacher lined up for Ezra, but that ended up falling through, so while I was praying about what to do, God said something crazy and told me to teach it myself. After laughing and thinking it was insane for a bit, I was able to switch around the schedule a little bit to give me at least 6 days between my teachings, and trusted God to make it work, and He definitely did. Although it wasn't my most prepared teaching (both Ezra and Revelation), God was amazing through it and taught me immensely while I was preparing, and my students came away with a greater understanding of the book of Revelation and came away feeling encouraged by it instead of discouraged by how confusing it can be. Some of them even said that it was their favourite teaching in the school, which just shows how good God is when you trust Him and let Him work.

As I look back I am amazed by how this school has gone and how much God blessed us with a great school. I had some awesome students who were able to push through different obstacles and difficulties to be able to finish this very busy and demanding course. They definitely were a huge blessing to me, and I don't know if I could've done it if I would have had a different class because they were just so easy to work with. Everybody was able to pass with good marks and they all were able to show that they were able to interpret for the original readers or hearers effectively, which is the main goal of the course. I was able to see God move in awesome ways in their work and in their lives, and I know that they all have come out with a greater appreciation for the Word and a greater understanding of it. Although this is a busy school, it is amazing how much it opens up your understanding of the scriptures on a much deeper level. The more I study, the more excited I get about the Bible and the greater depth of understanding I get of the amazing God that we have and the stories that He has given us.

Although I was incredibly busy this school and was in my office or the classroom all day every day (and night), this was an amazingly rewarding and refreshing season. God has really been showing me more and more that I understand His heart and His love that He has for me and for all of us. It is only through that understanding that I've been able to allow Him to carry my through any trials or tasks that He has given me. It amazes me how fresh I feel even though I have gone through an intense last year and a half where I have basically been studying or teaching the bible day and night pretty much every day. Without God I should be feeling run down and ragged and burnt out, but because He has been driving me and because He has been there with me telling me that it will be alright and reminding me that I just need to be obedient and He'll take care of the rest, I am able to come out of this crazy time feeling fantastic and excited to continue to develop the Bible Core Course here as well as continue to study more and grow deeper and deeper in my knowledge of God's Word and of Him. He really has shown me the Father Heart that He has for all of us, and it's amazing how much He loves and cares for us and wants what is absolutely best for us! He's shown me that I was right on when I said when I was first heading out to join YWAM, that as long as I keep doing what He tells me to do, I can't lose! That definitely is 100% the truth; not only can I not lose, but I'm thriving living for my Daddy and living in His love. He is such an amazing God and Father and Friend and I'm so thankful that I've decided to live fully for Him, it's the best thing I've ever done and ever will do!

Life as a bible teacher.....Lovin' it

Our Class and the Former Leaders

Well, it has been far too long since I've posted on my blog, so sorry if you've been waiting to hear from me. Things have been pretty insane since I've been here in New Zealand, but it is going amazing and I'm loving it.

We're now into week 3 of the Bible Core Course here, and I just finished teaching the book of Mark this week. I taught about 15 hours over the last 4 days, so it's been pretty full on. We have only 5 students, but I don't have any staff, so I stay really busy with helping the students and organizing everything for running the school. We've got a great group and the students are all very hungry to study the Word.

God has been really faithful in helping me prepare for the school and for my teaching. Roger and Julie, the former leaders, were there to help me with some of the preparations and to answer some of my questions, and they also taught the first two weeks, so they have been a huge blessing to me and to the class. It's been amazing how God has really set my heart on fire for teaching, both in helping the students and also in teaching the Word. Teaching Mark was something that I was a little bit intimidated by since I had only taught single day teachings before, but it went really well and it really showed me how much I love what God has me doing!

When God first sent me here to lead the BCC, I didn't expect it and had never really thought of it as a long term thing since I didn't feel like much of a teacher and had never really felt called to be a teacher, but now He's really set my heart on fire for teaching His Word, and I'm definitely willing to do this for as long as He wants me to. It is an amazing privilege to be able to spend my time studying the Word and helping teach others how to effectively study it themselves. God has really been speaking through me as I've been teaching and really gave me peace about my preparations, even though I wasn't able to prepare as much as I'd like because of the busyness of setting up the school. It has been an amazing time, and God's been surprising me in how smoothly it's been going and how well it's been going. It makes me excited to see what else He has planned for me and the BCC here in the future!

Other than being very busy, things have been great. I'm absolutely loving being back in New Zealand, and the base here is awesome. We have an amazing family here and it is definitely my kind of place; nice and laid back and homey feeling in a very small little town (~1500-2000 people) right near the mountains. It tends to get pretty cold, but I do pretty well since I've always enjoyed the cold anyways. Overall, I'm overjoyed that God has brought me here for at least the next 3 years, and I can't wait to get more and more connected with the people and the community here in Oxford. It has felt like home from the minute I got here, and the more time I spend here and the more I pray about the base here and Oxford, the more I feel like God may have more planned for me in this place than I thought He did when He first called me here last year. We'll have to see what happens, no matter what, I'm excited for whatever He has, wherever He has it!

Things are going great with Grace and I. This week was a little tough because I was so busy, so I wasn't able to write her as much, but other than that, we just hit the 5 month mark today, and we're still going strong. There definitely have been some difficulties with being apart, but in the end, we both thank God for it since it's because of the distance that we've been able to work through some issues and strengthen our communication in incredible ways. God has been very faithful in leading us in our relationship and in our communication and He has really led us into a deeper level of love and commitment to each other. It's gonna be still another 2.5 months before I see her, but I can't wait to go and visit her in Perth after the school!

God is so so good to me, and I'm so thankful that He's given me the privilege to spend my life serving Him and sharing what He's done for me and for all of us with others! We serve an amazing God and He really does love us and wants to give us the desires of our hearts, He's definitely giving me mine and more than I ever dreamed of!!

Hope you are all well. I promise I won't take as long to write my next post. Thanks so much for reading and for your prayers!

God bless!!!!

Prayer Points

That God will continue to help my students as they learn the inductive method and study the Word

That God will be giving me wisdom and strength as I lead this school

That God will continue to lead and bless my and Grace's relationship

That God will continue to provide for me

That God will provide our base with a way to get more accommodation for staff and students

That God will be leading our base in His vision for our future

Finally Made it Home!!

Well, it's been a long time coming and I've been greatly anticipating it for the last 8 months or so, but I've finally returned back home to New Zealand! I arrived in Christchurch on Friday morning and have started getting settled into my new home in Oxford.

My first couple days here have been a little uneventful since my body apparently thought it was a good idea to get sick on my way to the airport to fly here, so I've been battling a cold the last couple days. Thankfully jetlag hasn't seemed to hit me at all. I was able to start changing my clock right away during my flight from LA to Auckland, so I've had a couple nice full nights of sleep, going to bed and getting up at a normal time. Hopefully my cold will go away soon and I'll be right ready to jump right in and start preparing for the school on Monday.

I also was able to go home to Canada for a month before this, which was an amazing time. I was actually able to get some rest and relaxation while I was home, and I got to spend a lot of time with my family and friends. It was a gift from God to be able to go home for a full month and see everybody. I also got a chance to speak at my church while I was home, and from what I hear, it seemed to touch people's hearts, which is a blessing to know.

I'm now gearing up to go full speed into planning the Bible Core Course that I will be leading, which starts on June 24. There is a lot of work to be done in the next month and a half, but God has put me into a great situation since the former school leaders are here to help me plan and help me learn how to lead a school, and I am 100% confident that He will help me do what He has called me to do and that it will be a blessing to me and my students.

I currently have about 7 students set to do the course, which is awesome, but I'm still all alone on this, so I'm hoping and praying that God will send me someone to staff my school with me (so if you've ever done a BCC or SBS and don't have anything to do in June, drop me a line because I WANT YOU!! lol).

I am so excited to finally be here and to start preparing for these next few years of my life at my new home here. I will have to write more of an update later once I'm all settled in and have been able to learn more about the base and about the school and everything. I'll also have to take a picture of the beautiful view we have from our base and of my new family here (although we will be a small family at first since everybody left for outreach today).

Thanks for reading, I hope and pray you are all well.

God bless


Prayer requests:

- That God will guide me and Roger and Julie (the former leaders) as we prepare for the school
- That God will continue to call students to come and study the bible with us at the school
- That God will send me a staff to help me run this course (HUGE need)
- That God will be with Grace and I as we continue to adjust to living apart
- That God will be with Grace as she continues her outreach in India and soon in Warburton, Western Australia

Remembering that He Knows

He knows....

Two simple words that can seem so insignificant when you first hear them, but once you start really thinking about them and meditating on what they really mean, they become much much bigger and more important.

I was given these words by a very good friend here at YWAM Perth during a staff meeting that turned into a worship and prayer meeting. When he first said them to me, my initial reaction was, "Ya, I know He knows, I've got "He knows the plans" written on my chest in Hebrew to remind me of that, and it's because of that that I've been able to move to different areas in the South Pacific over the last year and a half and was able to commit to leading a bible school in New Zealand for 3 years without ever being at the base or knowing anybody there." So initially I just took it as a good reminder from God and didn't think too much into it.

Then I actually went and spent some time talking to the Big Guy, and that's when He reminded me what "He knows" really means.

For those of you who aren't aware of my backstory, or aren't aware of the latest developments, I'll give a quick synopsis of the last year and a half or so. In Sept. 2010 I joined Youth with a Mission and did a Discipleship Training School for 6 months in Matamata, New Zealand. After that I studied the bible for 9 months at the School of Biblical Studies in Taiwan, and quickly followed that up by staffing a 3 month Bible Core Course here in Perth, Australia to train me so that I can go lead the school out in Oxford, New Zealand. I'm currently in my last couple weeks in Perth before I will head back to Canada for a month before heading to Oxford at the beginning of May. The latest development is that while I was in my quick 3 month stopover in Perth, God decided to introduce me to an amazing Chinese-Malaysian girl named Grace, who I have been in a relationship with for just over 6 weeks, and who is committed to staying in Perth for the next 4 years. God is funny like that sometimes; just when you least expect it, He does something crazy.

So now that I've set the stage, you will be able to understand a little better why these two little words ended up having so much meaning for me.

I've obviously been thinking quite a bit about the fact that God has led me into a long-distance relationship over the last 6 weeks, and I've always known 100% that God will help us through the 3 years or so that we would be apart, and that I don't have to worry too much about it because if we are meant to be together, which we believe we are, that He will make it work. So you can understand why I didn't think too much about those words at first, because I thought that I already had that all figured out, that's when He reminded me that we never quite have those things figured out, and when we do think we have them figured out, we tend to forget the complexity and extent of them.

As I was praying and spending time with God, He reminded me that I keep saying that I trust Him and that I know that He will help us and will make it work, but I still would spend time thinking about the logistics of it: when will we see each other, how will it work for when I'm done my commitment in Oxford for me to come to Perth, how can I somehow do a school or something here for a season while BCC isn't running, and on and on. He reminded me that He is the one that brought us together, and that He had already thought of all those logistical things that I was worrying about because He knows.

When He spoke that to me, it was like a weight was lifted, and life was breathed into me. He brought us together, so that means that He probably wants us to be together, and since He knows that we will need to see each other (and would very much like to see each other), that means that He already knows how we'll be able to see each other, and since He wants us to be together again in the future long term, then He must have already figured out how that will work as well, and...well I think you get the point.

It was an amazing reminder that when we say we trust Him and when we say that we know that He knows the plans He has for us, we need to really trust Him and really believe that and not just keep spending time worrying about the logistics and how it's all gonna fit together and just continue to do what He is telling us to do and trust Him that He'll worry about it for us.

I don't know about you, but for me, this is AMAZING news!! After God gave me this revelation I was able to have an amazing time of prayer with Him where He spoke ideas and visions for the future into me, and I didn't even have to worry about them because I knew that if they are to come to pass, He will make it happen and He will figure out how they will happen and He will even show us how Grace fits into those plans as well. It is amazing when we remember that we serve an awesome and powerful God who put this world together for us, and it is even more amazing when we remember that He loves us so much and that He wants to see us happy and joyful and living life to the fullest extent with Him.

As I've been studying the bible so much in the last year, I've found it very easy to focus so much on the greatness and awesomeness of God that I sometimes forget that He is our loving Father who loves and cares for us more than we will ever understand and who wants to see us doing well and enjoying the life that He has given us. It is when we remember that and remember God's heart for us that we are able to live in a greater sense of freedom because of the trust that we can have that our Father is leading us and watching out for us.

So my encouragement to you and what I hope you take away from this is remember that God really does know and that He really does want us to prosper as we follow Him. I recommend spending time with Him asking Him to show you how you haven't been trusting that He knows, and ask Him to help you be able to trust Him in those areas. Something that also helped me was reading Jesus' high priestly prayer in John 17, which gives you a glimpse into God's heart for His people. Another great reminder is to read Jeremiah 29 (the whole thing, not just vs11) with the mindset that this is God speaking to the people that have forsaken him throughout their entire history and have done so much evil that He had to finally send judgement on them and send them into exile, yet He still loves them and still cares for them and still has plans to prosper them. I love reading that chapter, and really, I love reading all of the prophets because of the amazing promises of restoration that God gives throughout them to His unfaithful people.

No matter what, I hope you will remember..... He Knows.

Great (but crazy) times in Perth

Worshipping on the beach in Busselton, WA during Bible Reading Away Weekend.

Well it's been quite some time since I posted anything on here, so I figured I would post a quick update to let you all know how I've been doing.

For those who don't know, after having a couple weeks home during the holidays I left and moved to Perth, Australia to staff the Bible Core Course to train to lead the course in Oxford, New Zealand for the next 3 years.

So far, things have been awesome, but incredibly busy here in Perth. We have a class of 7 students with 3 staff. We are currently in week 9 of 12 and have read through the entire bible except for the prophets and have studied Acts, Philemon, John, Hebrews, 1 Peter, Romans and we're just starting Revelation. It's been interesting because the BCC is very different from the School of Biblical Studies that I did in Taiwan, so it's been a learning experience in many ways, but God has been faithful to help me through it and to teach me how to staff a school and how to teach our students and share what He's taught me.

I was able to teach 1 Peter in week 6, which was absolutely amazing. Teaching a book was a bit of a scary experience for me, but God really taught me a lot through it and did an amazing job teaching the book through me. He definitely was with me as I prepared and showed me the message that He wanted to share with me and the students and even gave me some awesome insights and reminded me of my own experiences while I taught so that I could share them with the students. Overall, it was an amazing experience, and I am excited to do more teaching over the next 3 years. I will also be teaching Esther in a couple weeks, which I'm a little nervous about, but I know that God will be faithful again to help me through that as well. It's a very different book from 1 Peter, but it is a great book with an awesome story of God's providence and His sovereignty that I am excited to really dig into deeper than I ever have before.

Another interesting part of the staffing experience is grading. After staffing for 8 weeks I definitely have a lot more respect for my SBS staff because grading is a lot of work. It's also been a learning experience for me, but I've enjoyed it and it's awesome to see God moving in the lives of my students and really brings a greater understanding of what we're studying. It also has shown me how much I care for my students and how much I want to see them succeed, which was something I never really thought about before becoming staff.

Overall, my experience in Perth has been amazing. It will definitely be a lot harder than I ever expected to leave here because I have really become a part of the family that they have here, more so than I thought I would. It has become another home for me, and it also helps that it is absolutely beautiful here! I went out to Freemantle this weekend for the first time, and it is amazing. The beaches that we have around here combined with the weather really make this an amazing place to live. God has definitely been amazing spoiling me by sending me here for a short season. He definitely is an amazing God who really does give us the desires of our hearts as we follow Him and trust Him. He continues to blow me away around ever turn, and I am so thankful that I am following Him with my life. It really is a privilege to be living my life this way and being able to study His Word for the last year and for the next 3 years, and I am so thankful for all your prayers and support that helps make it possible for me to do this.

I will be here for another month and a bit, returning home for about a month on April 9. I hope that I will be able to connect with many of you while I'm home, so please, if you're in London area and are free to grab a coffee while I'm home, send me a message on facebook or an email at stelps1@gmail.com and we'll set something up.

I will also be sending out a newsletter soon with some updated support information (I can finally give out tax receipts!!!), so if you would like to receive that please send me a message on FB or an email or comment on this post with your email address and I'll add you to my mailing list.

Hope you are all doing great!! God bless you all. Love ya.

Wow...It's 2012 and I'm in yet another new country!

Reading Acts in King's Park

Wow....I must apologize that it's been almost a month since I posted a blog post, but this last month has been a bit of a whirlwind that ended up dropping me in beautiful Perth, Australia!

Last time I checked in, I was on my way home from Taiwan after successfully finishing the 9 month School of Biblical Studies with YWAM Taipei. My time at home was awesome, but also insane. Being home for only 2 weeks at Christmas time is pretty crazy. It was amazing to see a bunch of family and friends and was definitely amazing to see the support that I have from a lot of them! It definitely means so much to know that people support me in what I am doing and believe in what I am doing. It has definitely been difficult being away from all my friends and family, especially since I'm pretty sure I won't be back in Canada long term for quite some time, but it is absolutely amazing knowing that I am living my life for God, the way that He wants me to, and to know that friends and family believe in that too means a lot to me.

So here's a little summary of my time at home: I got home on the night of the 17th to surprise my sister Jenn at her 30th birthday party, which was a definite success! Both her and my brother were completely shocked and floored that I was there because I was supposed to come in the next day. The next afternoon my mom's side of the family came over for our family Christmas, so I had a very loud welcome back to Canada from the family and had an awesome time visiting with everybody, and of course watching football too! Most of my time home was spent hanging out with my family, especially my nieces and nephews, and seeing as many friends as I could. At the same time I was still waiting for my application to go through at YWAM Perth (who were in the process of moving their base from one location to another, so they were pretty bogged down with that), but more on that in a second.

First, I'll tell ya about a bit of a highlight of my trip home, which was going to the Lions-Chargers game in Detroit with my parents on Christmas Eve. Before the game we met up with my Aunt Betty and Uncle Ed and my 2 cousins Krista and Melissa in Chatham because they were going to the game as well, and we were surprised by my Uncle Ed renting a limo as an early Christmas present to his girls, which we got to enjoy as well! So we got to ride to the game in style (first time ever in a limo), and had an awesome time watching the game. It was great to get to spend time with my parents and catch what may be the last football game that I watch live in a long time, and being able to ride up in the limo gave me a great chance to talk to my cousins as well and hear how they've been and share about what God's been doing in my life as well.

Our ride to the Lions game! Thanks Uncle Ed!!

Anyways, back to the whole getting to Perth story, my acceptance finally came through on the 22nd and I was able to apply for my visa online, but had to drive to Toronto to get a chest x-ray done the next day, and because of the holidays it didn't get looked at until the Wednesday after Christmas. This all added an extra level of stress to my trip home, but I was able to give it to God after struggling with it a few days and He definitely came through. Because of the holidays I was worried that I wouldn't get my visa until after New Years, but it finally came through in the nick of time on the afternoon of the 30th and I was able to book a ticket leaving early in the morning on the 2nd. So I was able to spend New Years Eve with some friends and spend the afternoon watching football at my parents' place with family before leaving for the airport on Sunday night. The most amazing part of it all is that the price of the plane ticket didn't really go up hardly at all from the first time I checked when I first found out I would be going to Perth to when I finally booked it basically 2 days before I would leave, God is so good!

So I got here to Perth a few days late, but that didn't matter too much because I only missed a little bit of training. Since I've gotten here it's been pretty full on. Thankfully I didn't have any real problems with jet lag at all (I think my body's used to being on this side of the world by now), so my transition here has been pretty good. The base is absolutely HUGE with over 300 staff and students currently at the base and a ton of others out on outreaches. It has been pretty tough learning everybody's name, but everybody has a lot of grace when it comes to names because we all know how crazy it is meeting so many people in such little time. I am still amazed that God sent me to Australia for a season since it's somewhere that I always wanted to go to, but didn't think I would ever end up going, and it definitely hasn't disappointed! I am loving it here in Perth. The city is beautiful, and our base is very close to the downtown, which is amazing considering the cost of land and housing and such in Perth. It is definitely an interesting time to be on base because of the transition to the new buildings and still waiting on the main building to get completely finished and approved by the city. It is a time where flexibility is key, but it has given me many chances to serve people and do whatever I can to bless the base and the people here.

The Bible Core Course that I'm staffing is now into its 2nd week. Our first week consisted of orientation and registration stuff, as well as reading Genesis-Ruth, Isaiah and Acts. We are now starting to study Acts and we just finished the first day of teaching the introduction to the inductive method. I was a little surprised last week when I learned how different the course is from the SBS that I just finished in Taiwan and kinda wondered a little of what I had gotten myself into, but God has given me a lot of peace about it and I'm just trusting that He will help me to learn a lot during my time here so that I can go to Oxford, NZ and lead the course there successfully after I leave here. I have an amazing leader here (Melinda) who has staffed about 16 BCCs and is leading her 7th school, so she has a ton of experience and is more than willing to teach me as much as possible as I prepare to lead after this school. We have 7 students and 3 staff (including me and Melinda), and we seem to have a pretty great group that are all eager to learn and excited to start digging into the bible over these next 3 months.

If you could all be praying for me and for our school, it would be greatly appreciated. More specifically, for me that I would be able to learn a ton while I'm here, both about the BCC and how to lead it as well as about the Bible and that God would bring me deeper understanding and closer in relationship with Him. Also, for the school that the students would be blessed by their studies and by us as staff and that God would be moving during our class times as well as their study time. We also need your prayers for finances, both for our school, especially for outreach fees for both staff and students, but also for the base in general because they are still in the process of raising money to fully pay off the new building.

Well, I think this is probably long enough (and longer than I planned, as usual), so I will sign off now. I hope everything is going great for all of you and that God is blessing you and moving in your lives. I'll try to send another update in a couple weeks or so and let ya know how the school is going.

God bless.

After 9 months, it's time to leave Taiwan

Me and my housemates at our graduation. I'm gonna miss these boys.

It's hard to believe, but the time has finally come for me to leave Taiwan. It has been an incredible blessing and privilege to be able to live in a different country with a completely different culture. There have been some ups and downs when it comes to living here, but overall it has been an awesome experience and I thank God that He brought me here for this season of my life.

It's been interesting digesting and processing a bit what we've gone through these last 9 months. I realized today when we wrote a test that 2nd year theology students write as a final exam just how extensive all of our biblical knowledge has become. The opportunity to spend all day, 6 days a week for 9 months straight  in God's word is an amazing privilege and is such a unique thing that I still don't quite grasp the significance and depth of doing it. Not many people get a chance to do this and it's important that I remember everyday how blessed and privileged I am to have gotten to do this. So to all of you who have played a part in making this happen, whether through financial support, prayer support, or just encouraging me as I did this, THANK YOU. You have given me an amazing blessing that I am forever grateful for.

The fact that I don't have to wake up tomorrow and start an outloud or colour code or PTs or chart or anything is a strange feeling that I'm not quite used to. We've lived an extraordinary life these last 9 months and now regular life just seems foreign and strange, but I'm definitely looking forward to it, even though I will only be able to really experience it for less than 2 weeks before I leave home again and head to Australia to help students through a similar, but shorter 3 month journey through the bible. It will be awesome getting to finally go to Australia and to be able to help teach the bible and to train for leading the school in New Zealand, but I am definitely looking forward to having a bit of a break after it in April.

As I thought about the fact that I now get to not only continue to study the bible, but also teach it as well as lead a school teaching it I am still blown away by how amazing God is and how He has really blessed me with an amazing life and an amazing opportunity to spend the next few years studying His word. I am part of a small percentage of Christians that will ever get to study the bible this extensively and I know that this is something that many people would do anything for, but don't have the opportunity, and that many people would love to do, but cannot (my Dad is pretty jealous. lol). Being constantly exposed to God's truth and seeking Him through His word is one of the most life-changing and life-giving things that I have ever done in my life, and it has really shown me who God is and how awesome and great and powerful He is, and how small and insignificant we are, yet He still loves us more than we could ever comprehend. It has amazed me how humbling studying God's word is and it was awesome, although a little difficult at times, how God revealed my pride to me and worked with me so that I could give it to Him. If I had to say what the best thing that happened to me during SBS was, it would definitely be how God humbled me and showed me areas of pride that I never knew I had or never knew were pride. His truth is so amazing!!

Well it's getting late, so I should head to bed for the last time here in Taiwan. I hope and pray that you all are well, and I look forward to possibly seeing those of you who are back home in London. Thanks for following me on this journey through SBS, I hope and pray that it was a blessing for you, and please continue to follow the journey that God is taking me on. It means a lot to me to know that people care enough to take the time to read my posts, especially since they tend to be long and can sometimes ramble on. So thank you so much. God bless.

Finally some clarity on the future

The Sunset View from the Library at the University

So a funny thing happened today, I realized that in 3 weeks, I'll be back home in Canada sitting in front of the fireplace at my parents place watching football in HD on their beautiful TV. Oh, and I'll be hanging out with my awesome family and catching up with them a little. The nice thing is that I finally know how long I will be home for because I FINALLY know what I'm doing after SBS.

It's been a bit of a lesson in patience and in giving my future over to God over the last month as I awaited word on my application with YWAM Oxford (NZ). I'd be lying if I said I didn't question once or twice if I had heard God's voice right with applying there, but now that I finally have confirmation I see that He definitely has put this together better than I ever thought it was possible.

When I had first contacted the base about staffing their Biblical Core Course (BCC), I asked if they needed staff and they said that they were looking for a new leader, which I basically just shrugged off as just them giving me as much information as they could and figured I'd pray for them that they would find a leader. Well, apparently God didn't just shrug it off because when I was praying about whether or not to apply for Titus, God basically said to me that I never looked into the opportunity of leading the school. This was something that seemed absolutely insane to me since I had never staffed a school and didn't feel anywhere near ready to lead a school, and didn't even think it would be possible for me to lead without staffing first. A big reason that I was applying to Titus was that I felt that God wanted me to trust Him and do things that intimidate me, which teaching the bible does, and while I was praying about it He showed me that I had got the message correctly, but the application wasn't for Titus, it was for leading the BCC. After wrestling with Him for a little I finally agreed to send an email to the Oxford base telling them what I thought God was telling me to do, while telling them I may be crazy at the same time because I thought I was crazy and that they'd just kinda laugh at me, a guy with no staffing experience, inquiring about leading a school. Well, it turned out that I wasn't as crazy as I thought because after sending a number of emails back and forth and after some waiting I got an email from them offering me the BCC school position.

So the details are that I will be going to Perth, Australia at the beginning of January to train during their BCC so that I can see how the BCC is run and also to be trained how to lead the school. After that finishes at the end of March I will probably come home for about a month so that I can see my family a little and relax a little since I'll only have about a 2 week break at Christmas between SBS and going to Perth. Then I will head to Oxford, NZ to meet my new YWAM family and get settled in at the base that I plan to be at for most likely at least the next 3 years. Then I'll have about a month and a half or so to prepare for the school and our BCC will start at the end of June and run until the beginning of September.

It's been amazing how God has pieced this whole process together in a way that only He could, and He has really set me up for success better than I ever thought He could. The former leaders of the BCC will be staying on staff at the base and have said that they would be willing to help me out where needed, and there are a couple current BCC leaders at other bases that said that they are willing to help me out over skype or phone when needed. So although I am still a little intimidated by the idea of leading, God has done a great job of putting people around me to support me in leading, and I know that He will definitely help me in leading the school.

I hope to also staff the Backpackers Discipleship Training School, which starts at the end of September and was what originally led me to their base, but I will have to see if that is still possible or not. God's made it pretty clear that He wants me at their base and wants me to lead the BCC, so I'm gonna start there and see what else He has for me there as I go. Either way, I am super stoked to head out there. I don't know what it is about New Zealand, but since I first got there last year for my DTS, it just felt like home and I had a feeling that God would bring me back there, just never thought it would be this soon. I'm also really excited to get a real start on my "YWAM career" and get settled into one place for a little while.

As with all YWAM positions, I need to raise all of my own support to pay base fees, as well as for any outreaches that I go on, so please be praying and asking God if you are supposed to support me in this, any support is helpful, even if it's just a little. The nice thing is that because I will be full time staff, I should be able to start getting people tax receipts through a YWAM base in Canada soon, but I still have to look in to how it works.

As for SBS, things have been going steadily and we only have 3 weeks now. We just finished the book of Daniel, which was an amazing book, and prior to that we had what may be the most exciting books of the Old Testament in Ezra and Nehemiah. At first glance, Ezra and Nehemiah may not seem like the most exciting books, but when you think about the fact that the Jews had gone through their exile and were finally seeing the restoration that God had been promising them through the prophets and really try to get into the head of the original hearers who took part in the returns to Jerusalem, it's really exciting. They are also books that give amazing examples of leadership as you look at Ezra's and Nehemiah's examples, and God's sovereignty has been very evident in all three of those books, as well as Esther.

We've now just started Ezekiel and only have Zechariah, Haggai, Malachi and Matthew left. It's been an amazing last 8 months and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us over the next 3 weeks, but I'm definitely looking forward to being done. It's hands down been one of the best if not the best thing I've ever done, but it's also been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm really looking forward to having some time to relax and enjoy the holidays with my family and not have another book looming over my head.

Hope you are all doing well, and I'll definitely send out another update before I leave Taiwan.

God bless