Changes

Well in case you don't know, I've moved into a very new chapter in my life of being a married man, and as we all know, when you get married, things change. Like a lot. Big time. lol. Thankfully, they are good changes and although some of them can be tough, they've been amazing and a blessing and I am so thankful to God for bringing those changes into my life.

One of these changes is that I am now changing how I blog from now on. Grace and I have created a new blog at wokandpan.wordpress.com (notice the east meets west kinda vibe there....we're clever), which is where we'll be posting short updates on what we're doing and how we're doing and such. Rather than be redundant and post updates on both this blog and our new one, I've decided that I would repurpose this blog to focus more on things that I'm learning or things that God's been showing me or just random things that I think about when I'm lying in bed and can't sleep and am trying not to wake up my wife. lol

So ya, go on over to our new website (again it's wokandpan.wordpress.com) and sign up to follow our blog via email, but still keep an eye on this blog if you want to get a glimpse of what's going on inside of my head.....if you dare....haha.

Hope you're all doing well. Grace and I are doing great. Just got back to Malaysia 2 weeks ago, and if ya want to hear more, then head over to our new blog.

Bless you!

A brief update from my hotel room in Thailand

Kata Noi - One of the beaches near where we are staying.

Well it has been quite some time since I have posted anything on here, and quite a lot has happened since then.

For those of you who haven't heard from or about me for a while, I am sorry (yet again). It has been a very eventful start to the year to say the least. I have gone from my home in Oxford, NZ to spend time in Queenstown, NZ, then to finally meet back up with Grace in Melbourne, Australia for a few weeks before we travelled to Malaysia and then Singapore while doing everything we could to try and get Grace's Canadian visa settled before we flew out. Unfortunately we weren't able to so I had to fly to Canada without her (but with her father), but thankfully God came through in the nick of time (as we knew He would) and got her over to Canada with a week to spare before our wedding. We then spent 2 months in Ontario visiting family and friends before flying back to Malaysia for a few days and then on to Thailand for 3 weeks.

And that is where you catch up with me now as I sit in my hotel room in Phuket, Thailand looking out at the Andaman Sea. It has been quite a journey for Grace and I these last 5-6 months (not to mention the previous 11 months, of which we were separated for 9), but it has been an amazing time of discovering each other and what it means to be together as well as discovering more about God and His faithfulness to us and of His plan for us.

We originally came to Thailand a little over 2 weeks ago and spent 9 days in Chiang Mai in the northern part of the country to attend the call2all congress and the YWAM Asia Pacific gathering. This time was an amazing gift from God and He really refined more of our vision for the future as well as giving us things to think about for the present and for when we return to Oxford in September. I feel very privileged to have been able to attend these gatherings and to be able to hear about what God is doing in Asia and beyond to reach the unreached as well as to use those who know Him. I've come away from this week just amazed at how good God is and amazed at how He wants to use me and Grace (and everybody really) to make His name known to all nations and to show people how loving and caring and awesome their true Father is. God is so good and as I think over these last couple weeks here and over the last year or two or three even, my heart just continues to overflow with love and joy and appreciation for the amazing Father that I have in Him.

So now we are down in Phuket relaxing and having a great time being on our own (we had been staying with my parents for the 2 months in Canada and will stay with Grace's parents for the next 3 months) and enjoying God's beautiful creation; continually being amazed with how good He is to us to give us this time to relax and recharge before another busy time planning for another wedding celebration as well as planning for a teaching that I will be doing in August, which will be the first time I've been invited to speak at a base other than my own.

We have been very blessed in these last few months and we know that God will continue to bless us and grow us as we prepare to start our new life in New Zealand. I will try to be more diligent in my communication in the future (with the help of my darling wife, who is WAY more organized and better at these things with me), and we will be sending out our first combined newsletter as the new Mr and Mrs Matt and Grace Stelpstra soon.

Blessings to all of you.

Merry Christmas and I'm sorry

It's like I'm a little kid again. I'm sitting here, wide awake at 5:30 am on Christmas morning, unable to sleep. Unfortunately, it isn't a feeling of anticipation or excitement that is keeping me awake, this time it's very different feelings that keep me awake and alert.

I need to apologize to my friends and family who read this blog, and those who don't as well. Outside of my immediate family, and inside somewhat too, I have done a piss poor job of keeping in contact these last few months. Really, I haven't done a great job keeping people updated and staying connected to everybody back home in general since I left, but prior to these last few months there was more of a reason for it because I was incredibly busy. Unfortunately, these last few months, I don't have any reason for it other than I haven't had the motivation to do it and haven't really felt like I've had anything to say, which is kinda stupid because I've had multiple blog post ideas come into my mind, but I just haven't been able to pull the trigger.

These past few months have been some of the most difficult months for me since I left Canada in September, 2010 to leave it all behind and journey with God to the ends of the earth. See, during my first two years away I was busy; super busy. I was doing things. Learning more about God, going to help the unloved and underprivileged, studying His Word, teaching His Word. I was busier than I ever have been in my life, and I absolutely loved it and didn't feel tired or worn out at all, no matter how many late nights and early mornings I put in. These last few months have been very different, and I never would have imagined that they would be as difficult as they have been.

These last few months, all of that busyness was taken away. My school was over, and other than teaching on the Discipleship Training School at the beginning of this new "season", I didn't have any real commitments or responsibilities for my time. I had no idea what God wanted me to do with these 3-4 months that I had ahead of me, other than the two simple, yet difficult words He gave me of "Be still." Although this may sound like an easy and carefree season that someone coming off of an intense and busy last year and a half of bible study and teaching should love, it has been anything other than that for me.

Learning to be still and to still feel useful and valuable even though I wasn't doing a whole lot has been difficult and foreign and even, dare I say it, depressing. I have been spending my days in prayer, seeking God and reading His Word, while struggling to feel motivated and focused. I have had some amazing prayer times and have been given some awesome dreams and vision for future possibilities, but I've also had some times of feeling like I just want to hide in my office not doing much of anything. I am a hardworking man who loves to be busy, but here I have been for the last 3 months, sitting, doing what feels like nothing, while my fiancé is working her butt off all day every day helping feed over 300 people 5000 miles away at YWAM Perth. It has been a real attack on my identity and value, but deep down, I know that it's good and that He knows why it's happening.

So I'm sorry I haven't written, whether it be via email or Skype or Facebook or this blog. I knew I should have. I even wanted to sometimes. But I just haven't. It hasn't been that I've been too busy "doing God's work" or anything like that. I just haven't felt up to it. I haven't felt like I've had anything to say. I may have feared that people would be disappointed because I wasn't doing very much in the physical sense of things.

I believe that I've been struggling with depression these last few months. Not being busy, being away from my beautiful fiancé and having to deal with the difficulties that come from a long distance relationship, being away from my family and friends back home, and wanting to do things to help others or to just do something but feeling the conviction in my spirit that by doing those things I was actually being disobedient to my Father, has all come together to make me feel beaten down emotionally.

There is hope though and there is life because as difficult as this time has been, I know that it's for a reason. I know that He is moving and stirring. I know that this is one of the most important seasons of my life and that He is using this time to move in me to prepare me for the future. As much as I hate this, I know I need this. As much as I wish I could be studying the Bible every waking hour with deadlines looming over my head, I know that He wants me to have my identity rooted in Him and in being His son, not in what I'm doing for Him. Even in this hour that I've been writing this, I've felt Him moving and teaching me and reminding me that He's the one who has chosen for me to go through this and that it's for my good because He is my good Father and everything He does is for our good and is the best thing for me.

So, although nothing's really changed; it still doesn't feel like Christmas, I'm still apart from my family and friends and, most importantly, my fiancé, I still have the same money problems I had before, and I still don't know if I'm actually going to be able to really do anything before I leave New Zealand to be with Grace on January 22; it's starting to feel a little different. I'm starting to remember the Hope that I have, not just in the future, but even in the here and now and in the being still. It's amazing what happens when you invite the Father into how you're feeling. Maybe it is going to be a great Christmas after all!

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and happy new year. Sorry this wasn't your usual happy holiday cheer post, but I needed to share with you all what was really going on, and sometimes that isn't always cheerful and happy. Thank you for reading and sharing with me what's happening, especially if you actually read the whole thing (I didn't plan for it to be this long. lol). And most of all, thank you for being my family and my friend, and I hope you too feel the warmth of the Father's embrace, no matter what your circumstance is this Christmas. He is so good, all the time!

God bless

Time for a bit of a break!

Wharariki Beach on our BCC weekend away.

Well it has been a crazy couple of months since I last posted on here. The school is now finished and I have finished all of my marking and gotten everything wrapped up, so this week has been a bit of a recovery week for me before heading off to Perth on Monday to visit Grace for a couple weeks.

For those of you who don't know what I'm doing, here's a quick update. I'm now living in Oxford, New Zealand, which is a small town of about 1500-2000 people in the south island of NZ about 45 minutes from Christchurch. I moved here to take over the Bible Core Course, which is a 12 week inductive bible study course where we studied 16 books of the bible from June 25-Sept 13.

The school was an amazing success and God really helped both me and my students through it. I really saw God's providence and His guidance throughout the school. It definitely was one of the busiest times of my life, but it was absolutely amazing and God was with me every step of the way reassuring me, pushing me, comforting me, teaching me, guiding me and really giving me His peace and reminding me that He was in control and that He was the one who really was leading the school, so all I had to do was accept His leadership and allow Him to move through me.

I ended up teaching a lot more than I had originally planned because of not being able to find teachers for all of the books, which made it even busier than it would have been, but God was so good in helping me formulate my teachings and also helping me to stay energized and healthy and able to do what He was telling me to do. I ended up teaching the Gospel of Mark, Proverbs, Small Group Bible Study, Ezra and Revelation, as well as teaching for a couple days on the Snowboarders DTS when they had a teacher have to cancel one week. For someone who had only ever taught twice in my life for only one day each, this was quite the amazing task, especially since all of my teachings had to be made from scratch, but the more that God told me to do, the more I saw His favour and His blessing on my preparation and my teaching. Revelation was an especially hard book since it's a pretty crazy book anyways and because I was teaching it only 1 week after I taught Ezra. I thought I had a teacher lined up for Ezra, but that ended up falling through, so while I was praying about what to do, God said something crazy and told me to teach it myself. After laughing and thinking it was insane for a bit, I was able to switch around the schedule a little bit to give me at least 6 days between my teachings, and trusted God to make it work, and He definitely did. Although it wasn't my most prepared teaching (both Ezra and Revelation), God was amazing through it and taught me immensely while I was preparing, and my students came away with a greater understanding of the book of Revelation and came away feeling encouraged by it instead of discouraged by how confusing it can be. Some of them even said that it was their favourite teaching in the school, which just shows how good God is when you trust Him and let Him work.

As I look back I am amazed by how this school has gone and how much God blessed us with a great school. I had some awesome students who were able to push through different obstacles and difficulties to be able to finish this very busy and demanding course. They definitely were a huge blessing to me, and I don't know if I could've done it if I would have had a different class because they were just so easy to work with. Everybody was able to pass with good marks and they all were able to show that they were able to interpret for the original readers or hearers effectively, which is the main goal of the course. I was able to see God move in awesome ways in their work and in their lives, and I know that they all have come out with a greater appreciation for the Word and a greater understanding of it. Although this is a busy school, it is amazing how much it opens up your understanding of the scriptures on a much deeper level. The more I study, the more excited I get about the Bible and the greater depth of understanding I get of the amazing God that we have and the stories that He has given us.

Although I was incredibly busy this school and was in my office or the classroom all day every day (and night), this was an amazingly rewarding and refreshing season. God has really been showing me more and more that I understand His heart and His love that He has for me and for all of us. It is only through that understanding that I've been able to allow Him to carry my through any trials or tasks that He has given me. It amazes me how fresh I feel even though I have gone through an intense last year and a half where I have basically been studying or teaching the bible day and night pretty much every day. Without God I should be feeling run down and ragged and burnt out, but because He has been driving me and because He has been there with me telling me that it will be alright and reminding me that I just need to be obedient and He'll take care of the rest, I am able to come out of this crazy time feeling fantastic and excited to continue to develop the Bible Core Course here as well as continue to study more and grow deeper and deeper in my knowledge of God's Word and of Him. He really has shown me the Father Heart that He has for all of us, and it's amazing how much He loves and cares for us and wants what is absolutely best for us! He's shown me that I was right on when I said when I was first heading out to join YWAM, that as long as I keep doing what He tells me to do, I can't lose! That definitely is 100% the truth; not only can I not lose, but I'm thriving living for my Daddy and living in His love. He is such an amazing God and Father and Friend and I'm so thankful that I've decided to live fully for Him, it's the best thing I've ever done and ever will do!

Life as a bible teacher.....Lovin' it

Our Class and the Former Leaders

Well, it has been far too long since I've posted on my blog, so sorry if you've been waiting to hear from me. Things have been pretty insane since I've been here in New Zealand, but it is going amazing and I'm loving it.

We're now into week 3 of the Bible Core Course here, and I just finished teaching the book of Mark this week. I taught about 15 hours over the last 4 days, so it's been pretty full on. We have only 5 students, but I don't have any staff, so I stay really busy with helping the students and organizing everything for running the school. We've got a great group and the students are all very hungry to study the Word.

God has been really faithful in helping me prepare for the school and for my teaching. Roger and Julie, the former leaders, were there to help me with some of the preparations and to answer some of my questions, and they also taught the first two weeks, so they have been a huge blessing to me and to the class. It's been amazing how God has really set my heart on fire for teaching, both in helping the students and also in teaching the Word. Teaching Mark was something that I was a little bit intimidated by since I had only taught single day teachings before, but it went really well and it really showed me how much I love what God has me doing!

When God first sent me here to lead the BCC, I didn't expect it and had never really thought of it as a long term thing since I didn't feel like much of a teacher and had never really felt called to be a teacher, but now He's really set my heart on fire for teaching His Word, and I'm definitely willing to do this for as long as He wants me to. It is an amazing privilege to be able to spend my time studying the Word and helping teach others how to effectively study it themselves. God has really been speaking through me as I've been teaching and really gave me peace about my preparations, even though I wasn't able to prepare as much as I'd like because of the busyness of setting up the school. It has been an amazing time, and God's been surprising me in how smoothly it's been going and how well it's been going. It makes me excited to see what else He has planned for me and the BCC here in the future!

Other than being very busy, things have been great. I'm absolutely loving being back in New Zealand, and the base here is awesome. We have an amazing family here and it is definitely my kind of place; nice and laid back and homey feeling in a very small little town (~1500-2000 people) right near the mountains. It tends to get pretty cold, but I do pretty well since I've always enjoyed the cold anyways. Overall, I'm overjoyed that God has brought me here for at least the next 3 years, and I can't wait to get more and more connected with the people and the community here in Oxford. It has felt like home from the minute I got here, and the more time I spend here and the more I pray about the base here and Oxford, the more I feel like God may have more planned for me in this place than I thought He did when He first called me here last year. We'll have to see what happens, no matter what, I'm excited for whatever He has, wherever He has it!

Things are going great with Grace and I. This week was a little tough because I was so busy, so I wasn't able to write her as much, but other than that, we just hit the 5 month mark today, and we're still going strong. There definitely have been some difficulties with being apart, but in the end, we both thank God for it since it's because of the distance that we've been able to work through some issues and strengthen our communication in incredible ways. God has been very faithful in leading us in our relationship and in our communication and He has really led us into a deeper level of love and commitment to each other. It's gonna be still another 2.5 months before I see her, but I can't wait to go and visit her in Perth after the school!

God is so so good to me, and I'm so thankful that He's given me the privilege to spend my life serving Him and sharing what He's done for me and for all of us with others! We serve an amazing God and He really does love us and wants to give us the desires of our hearts, He's definitely giving me mine and more than I ever dreamed of!!

Hope you are all well. I promise I won't take as long to write my next post. Thanks so much for reading and for your prayers!

God bless!!!!

Prayer Points

That God will continue to help my students as they learn the inductive method and study the Word

That God will be giving me wisdom and strength as I lead this school

That God will continue to lead and bless my and Grace's relationship

That God will continue to provide for me

That God will provide our base with a way to get more accommodation for staff and students

That God will be leading our base in His vision for our future

Finally Made it Home!!

Well, it's been a long time coming and I've been greatly anticipating it for the last 8 months or so, but I've finally returned back home to New Zealand! I arrived in Christchurch on Friday morning and have started getting settled into my new home in Oxford.

My first couple days here have been a little uneventful since my body apparently thought it was a good idea to get sick on my way to the airport to fly here, so I've been battling a cold the last couple days. Thankfully jetlag hasn't seemed to hit me at all. I was able to start changing my clock right away during my flight from LA to Auckland, so I've had a couple nice full nights of sleep, going to bed and getting up at a normal time. Hopefully my cold will go away soon and I'll be right ready to jump right in and start preparing for the school on Monday.

I also was able to go home to Canada for a month before this, which was an amazing time. I was actually able to get some rest and relaxation while I was home, and I got to spend a lot of time with my family and friends. It was a gift from God to be able to go home for a full month and see everybody. I also got a chance to speak at my church while I was home, and from what I hear, it seemed to touch people's hearts, which is a blessing to know.

I'm now gearing up to go full speed into planning the Bible Core Course that I will be leading, which starts on June 24. There is a lot of work to be done in the next month and a half, but God has put me into a great situation since the former school leaders are here to help me plan and help me learn how to lead a school, and I am 100% confident that He will help me do what He has called me to do and that it will be a blessing to me and my students.

I currently have about 7 students set to do the course, which is awesome, but I'm still all alone on this, so I'm hoping and praying that God will send me someone to staff my school with me (so if you've ever done a BCC or SBS and don't have anything to do in June, drop me a line because I WANT YOU!! lol).

I am so excited to finally be here and to start preparing for these next few years of my life at my new home here. I will have to write more of an update later once I'm all settled in and have been able to learn more about the base and about the school and everything. I'll also have to take a picture of the beautiful view we have from our base and of my new family here (although we will be a small family at first since everybody left for outreach today).

Thanks for reading, I hope and pray you are all well.

God bless


Prayer requests:

- That God will guide me and Roger and Julie (the former leaders) as we prepare for the school
- That God will continue to call students to come and study the bible with us at the school
- That God will send me a staff to help me run this course (HUGE need)
- That God will be with Grace and I as we continue to adjust to living apart
- That God will be with Grace as she continues her outreach in India and soon in Warburton, Western Australia

Remembering that He Knows

He knows....

Two simple words that can seem so insignificant when you first hear them, but once you start really thinking about them and meditating on what they really mean, they become much much bigger and more important.

I was given these words by a very good friend here at YWAM Perth during a staff meeting that turned into a worship and prayer meeting. When he first said them to me, my initial reaction was, "Ya, I know He knows, I've got "He knows the plans" written on my chest in Hebrew to remind me of that, and it's because of that that I've been able to move to different areas in the South Pacific over the last year and a half and was able to commit to leading a bible school in New Zealand for 3 years without ever being at the base or knowing anybody there." So initially I just took it as a good reminder from God and didn't think too much into it.

Then I actually went and spent some time talking to the Big Guy, and that's when He reminded me what "He knows" really means.

For those of you who aren't aware of my backstory, or aren't aware of the latest developments, I'll give a quick synopsis of the last year and a half or so. In Sept. 2010 I joined Youth with a Mission and did a Discipleship Training School for 6 months in Matamata, New Zealand. After that I studied the bible for 9 months at the School of Biblical Studies in Taiwan, and quickly followed that up by staffing a 3 month Bible Core Course here in Perth, Australia to train me so that I can go lead the school out in Oxford, New Zealand. I'm currently in my last couple weeks in Perth before I will head back to Canada for a month before heading to Oxford at the beginning of May. The latest development is that while I was in my quick 3 month stopover in Perth, God decided to introduce me to an amazing Chinese-Malaysian girl named Grace, who I have been in a relationship with for just over 6 weeks, and who is committed to staying in Perth for the next 4 years. God is funny like that sometimes; just when you least expect it, He does something crazy.

So now that I've set the stage, you will be able to understand a little better why these two little words ended up having so much meaning for me.

I've obviously been thinking quite a bit about the fact that God has led me into a long-distance relationship over the last 6 weeks, and I've always known 100% that God will help us through the 3 years or so that we would be apart, and that I don't have to worry too much about it because if we are meant to be together, which we believe we are, that He will make it work. So you can understand why I didn't think too much about those words at first, because I thought that I already had that all figured out, that's when He reminded me that we never quite have those things figured out, and when we do think we have them figured out, we tend to forget the complexity and extent of them.

As I was praying and spending time with God, He reminded me that I keep saying that I trust Him and that I know that He will help us and will make it work, but I still would spend time thinking about the logistics of it: when will we see each other, how will it work for when I'm done my commitment in Oxford for me to come to Perth, how can I somehow do a school or something here for a season while BCC isn't running, and on and on. He reminded me that He is the one that brought us together, and that He had already thought of all those logistical things that I was worrying about because He knows.

When He spoke that to me, it was like a weight was lifted, and life was breathed into me. He brought us together, so that means that He probably wants us to be together, and since He knows that we will need to see each other (and would very much like to see each other), that means that He already knows how we'll be able to see each other, and since He wants us to be together again in the future long term, then He must have already figured out how that will work as well, and...well I think you get the point.

It was an amazing reminder that when we say we trust Him and when we say that we know that He knows the plans He has for us, we need to really trust Him and really believe that and not just keep spending time worrying about the logistics and how it's all gonna fit together and just continue to do what He is telling us to do and trust Him that He'll worry about it for us.

I don't know about you, but for me, this is AMAZING news!! After God gave me this revelation I was able to have an amazing time of prayer with Him where He spoke ideas and visions for the future into me, and I didn't even have to worry about them because I knew that if they are to come to pass, He will make it happen and He will figure out how they will happen and He will even show us how Grace fits into those plans as well. It is amazing when we remember that we serve an awesome and powerful God who put this world together for us, and it is even more amazing when we remember that He loves us so much and that He wants to see us happy and joyful and living life to the fullest extent with Him.

As I've been studying the bible so much in the last year, I've found it very easy to focus so much on the greatness and awesomeness of God that I sometimes forget that He is our loving Father who loves and cares for us more than we will ever understand and who wants to see us doing well and enjoying the life that He has given us. It is when we remember that and remember God's heart for us that we are able to live in a greater sense of freedom because of the trust that we can have that our Father is leading us and watching out for us.

So my encouragement to you and what I hope you take away from this is remember that God really does know and that He really does want us to prosper as we follow Him. I recommend spending time with Him asking Him to show you how you haven't been trusting that He knows, and ask Him to help you be able to trust Him in those areas. Something that also helped me was reading Jesus' high priestly prayer in John 17, which gives you a glimpse into God's heart for His people. Another great reminder is to read Jeremiah 29 (the whole thing, not just vs11) with the mindset that this is God speaking to the people that have forsaken him throughout their entire history and have done so much evil that He had to finally send judgement on them and send them into exile, yet He still loves them and still cares for them and still has plans to prosper them. I love reading that chapter, and really, I love reading all of the prophets because of the amazing promises of restoration that God gives throughout them to His unfaithful people.

No matter what, I hope you will remember..... He Knows.